There is nothing better than a good laugh. Sharing jokes with friends and family is one way of passing time and having a good time. There are many kinds of jokes that you can share with those that you are hanging out with. Pirate jokes will always be exciting and fun to share.
Most pirate jokes are about the sea and pirates lifestyles. Being a pirate is not a fancy job, but the jokes coming with the job are hilarious. Jokes about pirates never get old. The jokes being cracked today will still sound as funny even when shared after a hundred years.
Funny pirate jokes
Pirate jokes are guaranteed to make you laugh. The wording and phrases used are hilarious. Funny pirate jokes for kids will make them laugh and get them interested in life at the sea. The following are some of the hilarious pirate jokes.
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- Why are pirates called pirates? – Because they arrrrr!
- What did the first mate see down the toilet? – The Captains log!
- What is a pirate’s favourite doll? – BAAAAARRRRBIE!
- Why don’t pirates go to strip clubs? – They already have all the booty!
- Why did the pirate buy an eye patch? – Because he couldn’t afford an iPad!
- What is a pirate favourite fish dish? – Pieces of skate!
- 3.14% of sailors are Pi Rates.
- What do pirates wear in the winter? – Long Johns!
- What is a favourite pirate part of a song? – The hook!
- Who gets all their movies for free? – Pirates!
- Why do pirates bury their treasure 18 inches under the ground? – Because booty is only shin-deep!
- Why is pirating so addictive? – They say once ye lose yer first hand, ye get hooked!
- How do pirates know that they are pirates? – They think; therefore they ARRRR!!!!!
- What happened when Bluebeard fell overboard in the Red Sea? – He got marooned.
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- How did the pirate get his Jolly Roger so cheaply? – He bought it on a sail.
- What has eight legs, eight arms, and eight eyes?- 8 pirates.
- What do you call a pirate who steals from the rich and gives to the poor? – Robin Hook!
- What do you call a stupid pirate? – The pillage idiot!
- How do pirates like to cook their steaks? – On a BAAAARRRRRBECUE!
- What happens if you take the pout of a pirate? – He becomes irate!
- What do you call a pirate with three eyes? – Piiirate!
- What did the ocean say to the pirate? – Nothing, it just waved.
- What’s the difference between a hungry pirate and a drunken pirate? – One has a rumbling tummy, and the other’s a tumbling rummy.
- What does a dyslexic pirate say? – RRRRRRA!
- How did the pirate find out he needed glasses? – He took an eye exam!
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Hilarious pirate jokes
Pirate jokes for adults sometimes flow over many people’s heads because of the hidden wording or distinct lingo only familiar to individuals that enjoy sailing. The following jokes are witty and will give you a good laugh.
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- Why does it take pirates so long to learn the alphabet? – Because they can spend years at C.
- What lies at the bottom of the ocean and twitches? – A nervous wreck.
- How much did the pirate pay for his piercings? – A buck-an-ear.
- How much did the pirate pay for his peg and hook? – An arm and a leg.
- How do pirates prefer to communicate? – Aye to aye!
- Why did nobody want to play cards with the pirate? – Because he was standing on the deck.
- What’s orange and sounds like a parrot? – A carrot.
- What does a vegan pirate do in jail? – Starrrrrve!
- What are the ten letters of the pirate alphabet? – I, I, R, and the seven C’s!
- What’s a pirate’s favourite type of exercise? – The plank!
- What did the pirate wear on Halloween? – A pumpkin patch.
- What do you call a pirate who likes to skip school? – Captain Hooky!
- What do pirates say when they turn 80? – Aye matey years old!
- Why don’t pirates shower before they walk the plank? – Because they’ll wash up on shore later.
- How do you turn a pirate furious? – Take away the ‘p’.
- How much does it cost for a pirate to get his ears pierced? – A buccaneer.
- What’s the difference between a pirate and a cranberry farmer? – A pirate buries his treasure, but a cranberry farmer treasures his berries.
- How did the pirate call his mate? – On his aye phone.
- Did you hear about the one-handed pirate who listened to a rumour that a group of skunks were going to sink his ship? – He fell for it hook, line, and stinker.
- What’s a pirate favourite type of music? – Rum & Bass!
- Which element on the periodic table does a pirate like the best? Arrrrrgon! – No, hang on gold!
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You can entertain your contacts and social media followers by sharing funny pirate jokes. Everyone loves a good pun, and this is one way of increasing your online following.
- What would Santa say if he was a pirate? – Yo ho ho ho.
- Why did the pirate go on holiday? – He was in serious need of some Aaaaaar and Aaaaaaar.
- Why did the pirate have to go to the apple store? – To get a new patch.
- A pirate walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder – The bartender says, “You know what? A couple of days ago, I saw a pirate with a cow on his shoulder?” – The pirate says, “Yarrr, I bet he doesn’t know how to milk a parrot.”
- Where did the pirate purchase his hook? – At the 2nd hand store, of course.
- What is a pirates least favourite letter? – Your boat has been impounded due to unpaid loan repayments.
- Why do pirates like pizza? – Because it usually comes in pieces of eight.
- Blackbeard’s friend Bluebeard was killed in battle. How did he bring him back to life? – With Sea Pee Arrrrgh.
- I am pretty sure that my algebra teacher is secretly a pirate. – He constantly is trying to find X
- Why don’t pirates like spaghetti? – Arrgh, it’s scurvy.
- What did Blackbeard say on his 80th birthday? – Aye, matey.
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- Why do pirates never come back after losing a hand? – Because they are far too busy playing hooky.
- What do pirates like to eat in the summertime? – Bar-becue
- Where do pirates go to get their fast food? – Arrrr-by’s
- Why don’t pirates with a hook on the end of their arm like helping others? – They find it extremely hard to lend a hand.
- How do senior pirates get around? – With Davy Jones Walker.
- Why did the dyslexic baker join the pirate crew passing through town? – He thought Captain Blackbeard was leading it.
- How do pirates discipline their children? – Stern-ly
- Why are pirates so angry when they come back from the toilet? – After the p has gone, they become irate.
- What do pirates wear when it gets cold? – Arrr-gyle sweaters.
- Why are pirates never cremated when they die? – They always bury their booty.
- What does a pirate use to blow stuff up? – His M-80’s.
- Why did the pirate put a mouldy old piece of fruit on his shoulder? – So he could talk to his pear-rot.
- What do you call a pirate that uses a pumpkin as a belt? – A squash buckler
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Pirate jokes are good for the soul. They increase one’s curiosity and make one learn new words. Be the funny one in the group by always sharing nice and funny pirate jokes with your group members.
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